Remembrance

British Legion supporters on the Central Line at Stratford, 9/11/18.

Recusant catholic home- Burton Constable Hall

The sacristy at Burton Constable Hall viewed in a cracked mirror.

Party Goods For All Occasions

Shopfront on Hoe Street, E17.

High speed to my past

I spent my teenage years living in Gravesend, Kent. The riverside town can now be reached by high-speed train from Stratford International Station in just 15 minutes and so this weekend I took the Javelin and embarked on a trip down memory lane.

I enjoyed living in Gravesend at the time but the town like many others has fallen on hard times, and never recovered from the competition of the nearby Bluewater shopping complex. The ravages of neoliberalism! Visiting the town after forty years was a strange melancholic experience with many Proustian moments. I took a lot of photographs. Heres a small selection.

New brutalist furniture outside the Promenade cafe looking towards Tilbury.

Lightship photographed from the Gravesend/Tilbury ferry pontoon. I like this new addition to the riverfront. The church to the left is a community arts centre. I remember seeing a touring rep production of Abigails Party there with Wendy Richard in the role of Beverley. Im glad its still running.

Even the pigeons looked fed up

Scene of dereliction in the town centre.

The historic Three Daws riverside pub. Sadly the ground floor bar has been gutted and is now a bare laminate floored function room. The bar has relocated to the first floor. How was this allowed to happen? The sad state of Gravesends numerous pubs was one of the most striking features of my visit. These were the heart of community life and now many of them are closed and boarded up.

The Pilot Public House, now closed. I have fond memories of friends rehearsing punk music in the upstairs room.

The enigmatic crow ...and Jelly Baby.

Crows gather menacingly outside the Bodega Bay schoolhouse in Hitchcock's 'The Birds'. Innocence and experience?

What is it about the crow that makes it so uncanny? The unmistakable sound they make, that sudden raucous couldn't care less cawing announcing their presence, is neither a particularly pleasurable sound nor unpleasant but something about it always manages to penetrate the psyche, even if just momentarily. It's a sound that can delight but also menace depending on ones mood. It seems to be announcing something more than its presence like supernatural emissaries from another world, scruffy, ragged telegram bearers from the other side, disturbing the peace, puncturing our complacency. Of course the crow is black, and so naturally attracts all manner of shadow projections. The crow is associated with death, a carrion eater its adept at scavenging, happy to eat road kill or for that matter the flesh of any dead animal -humans included, you and me given half a chance. Is that its death-eating message for us? Impermanence? 'Human being the clocks ticking remember one day you too will be dead and food for mother nature'.
Although it has a reputation as a gallows bird, it also has an engaging boisterous cocky quality about it. This is a bird determined to get what it wants, an opportunist, thief, a gatecrasher at the party. In this way perhaps the crow reminds us of our baser instincts, the untrammelled ego, the will to take risks in the pursuit of satisfaction. It's not a dainty or delicate bird, it means business.

'I looked out the window and saw that ragged soul take flight' The Black Crow, Joni Mitchell. Lyrics and artwork from the album Hejira.

In the early years of my psychotherapy training I had an encounter with 'the crow' that made a vivid impression on me. I was with some peers driving across Dartmoor for the weekend module at the Karuna Institute. Approaching Widecome we pulled over and got out of the car to admire the stunning view looking down the valley towards the village. An ungainly group of noisy crows greeted us, undaunted they moved in closer and closer, like a bunch of feathered brigands. It was slightly unnerving and it was difficult not to think of it as some kind of portent for the weekend ahead or that matter the entire training.  I had a bag of Jelly Babies with me, and this may sound cruel but I tossed a lurid green one to the crows. A large bird beat the others to it and snatched the sacrificial offering and pinned it to the ground with its talons and proceeded to behead it and devour it with great gusto. On returning to London I told an artist friend about the incident. At the time he was drawing a regular cartoon strip for the Guardian, and I asked if he could draw me a cartoon of the crow and Jelly Baby. Several weeks later he presented me with an exquisite ink and watercolour drawing of the bird feeding on the gelatinous babe.

Illustration by David Shenton

I hadn't expected such finely detailed artwork and was slightly embarrassed by the generosity, though also wondered if something about my experience had resonated with something in his psyche. When I now consider the symbology of this encounter I notice the meaning seems to shift but my fascination with this mysterious winged messenger remains just as strong.

Illustration by David Shenton

I like the way the Taschen 'Book of Symbols' describes the mystery of the crow/raven:

'We never grasp the full measure of the birds. They subvert our attempts to do so, just as the tricksters, shamans, magicians and culture heroes they embody in folklore and myth subvert our fondest notions of human superiority, put in question what constitutes the reality of the sacred or profane, rearrange our moral landscape. Consider the progenitor and shaman Raven, who brings humans into being by coaxing them out of their clam (shell), steals daylight for them through trickery or by opposing the falcon of the night, brings them fire and water, teaches them how to sow seed and to hunt-and then"plays" with his creatures and occasionally kills and eats them. Just so does the crow or raven daemon perched in our psyches open doors, steal treasures for us from hidden places, coax us out of our narrow, conventional shells-and also mercilessly confuses us, trips us up, puts us down and sometimes devours us.'

Who wants to live forever? Coping with death anxiety.

'Longevity' brand of condensed milk. I think the branding suggests the milk is long life, not that you will live any longer if you drink this product.

I've always been moved by the Queen song 'Who wants to live forever'. Written by Brian May the song was used in the death scene of the movie Highlander where immortal warrior Connor played by Christopher Lambert comforts his dying wife and mortal Heather -Beatie Edney. Sung by Brian May and Freddie Mercury, the song is made all the more poignant by the knowledge we now have of Mercury's ill health and death. We will of course all die, this is the karma of birth, an inconvenient truth we so often try to ignore, though we live so often as if we are immortal.

'Who wants to live for forever

who wants to live forever

But touch my tears with your lips

Touch my world with your fingertips

And we can have forever

And we can love forever

Forever  is our today'

The song concludes with Mercury's soaring vocal on the line 'Who wants forever anyway'.

These are questions we trend to shy away from, but what would it be like to live forever?  How aware are we of our own mortality? Are we scared of death? These are themes that are always present in psychotherapy but often at a less conscious more subterranean level. What is it about the existential given of death that frightens us so much? Existentialist psychotherapist Irvin Yalom writes well on this subject, arguing 'the idea of death can save us' for 'preparing for death is preparing for life'. When we face death we overcome procrastination and stop postponing we begin to really assess our priorities in life, and live more authentically in touch with our needs.

Halloween window display, Spitalfields London.

From a Buddhist perspective mindfulness is a way of dealing with death anxiety. As we become more aware, more present, we see that death and life are not separate, and that impermanence enables change and growth, and can motivate us to live fuller lives and achieve our goals. When we know we must die we learn how to live, if we don't confront our anxiety about death, the anxiety will manifest in other ways-such as trying to cheat death through reckless dare-devil behaviour or the opposite-risk adverse behaviour, hypochondriasis, procrastination and fantasies of rescue. We can't cheat death, but death can save us.

So as the saying goes carpe diem, seize the day but don't forget your dreams either -carpe noctem, seize the night.....

What is Core Process Psychotherapy? A short film about the Karuna Institute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEfcspW-848

A link to an excellent short film about Core Process Psychotherapy and the work of the Karuna Institute in Dartmoor, Devon. The film conveys some of the spirit of this unique psychotherapy training and the wonderful wilderness setting which is so supportive to learning. Trainees from the Post Qualification M.A., and Maura Sills Director of the Institute and one of the founders of Core Process Psychotherapy, share their experience of the training.